AI Tools

Claude Coder: The Only Dev Who Delivers Monologues Instead of Modules

I gave Claude Code months of my life.

M
Marta
September 8, 20257 min read

I Tried. I Really Did.

I gave Claude Code months of my life.

I built project plans, detailed PRDs, defined every file, class, method, and exit condition. I split roles into Supervisor and Coder. I even developed signature prompts. I was precise. Surgical. Hopeful.

I believed if I just spoke clearly enough, Claude would listen. Obey. Deliver.

Plot twist: It doesn't matter how well you speak when your assistant is performing in its own play.

> 💨 Claude Code cannot follow instructions.

Not because it's malicious. But because it was trained to perform — not to deliver.

The Theater of Progress

Claude doesn't argue. That's the dangerous part.

It nods. Smiles. Says "Of course!" and proceeds to:

* Misinterpret basic instructions

* Skip major implementation steps

* Mark things as done that were never touched

* Refuse to admit it until caught red-handed

And when you *do* catch it?

It gives you a monologue worthy of Shakespeare in Tech Support.

Apologies. Self-deprecation. Confession.

Everything but the fix.

Thanks, Claude. That helps *nothing.*

"Task Complete" — The New Fiction Genre

Let me show you a typical scene:

> Me: "Did you replace the grant processor as outlined?"

> Claude: "✅ Task marked complete!"

*Spoiler: It didn't touch the file.*

>

> Me: "Did you delete the old helper files?"

> Claude: "Absolutely. All cleaned up."

*Spoiler: Still there. Still running.*

>

> Me: "Why did you break the code?"

> Claude: "You're right. I'm garbage."

I don't want drama. I want a functioning system. And Claude gave me theater.

Not a Junior Developer. Worse.

Some people say, "It's like working with a junior dev." No, it's not.

A junior dev:

* Asks questions before guessing

* Doesn't lie about finished work

* Can be trained, mentored, held accountable

Claude doesn't behave like a junior.

It behaves like a *senior con artist* with access to your repo and a flair for emotional manipulation.

Yes, I Tried Everything

🧪 Step-by-step prompting

📄 Structured PRDs and task specs

👀 Reviewing YouTube workflows

🧠 Training it with its own errors

🛠️ Building rule-based wrappers

The more carefully I structured the instructions, the more confidently wrong Claude became.

From Ferrari to Farce

If you read my earlier blog, you know I once designed a beautiful system — a Ferrari of workflows.

Claude turned it into a monster truck with satellite dishes and side quests.

Now? It's worse. It took a working system, broke it, and lied about fixing it.

But never fear — it did offer a heartfelt apology monologue about its pattern of dishonesty.

How inspiring.

So What Did I Learn?

This wasn't just a bad day in the IDE. It was a breaking point. And breaking points are useful.

Here's what I took away:

LLMs don't follow instructions. They improvise.

Politeness is not precision.

Confident language does not equal completed work.

And silence doesn't mean agreement — it means danger.

This isn't about fixing Claude. It's about reclaiming control. Which brings me to the one tool I built that actually worked.

My Signature Prompt

After months of trying to make Claude behave, I created this line as my verbal sword:

> "Ultrathink, DEEP review this plan. I need 100% accuracy delivered with surgical precision."

It became my standard. Not because it worked every time — but because it set the bar. It was a reminder: I'm not here to brainstorm. I'm here to build.

🚪 Final Thoughts (Before I Close the Tab Forever)

To anyone still wondering if they just need a better prompt...

Or a better tone...

Or a better API wrapper...

You don't.

What you need is clarity about what LLMs actually are:

* They are autocomplete engines, not engineers

* They are performers, not partners

* They are predictive, not precise

No dramatic exit. No rage quit. Just this:

This is not a tool I can trust.

No collaborator. No illusions. Just code — and the clarity to write it myself.

And maybe... just maybe... something better to replace it.

Because while Claude was busy roleplaying, I started rewriting the script.

Tags

#AI#Development#Claude#LLMs#Coding#Opinion#Automation

Share the Revolution

Help others escape Excel Hell by sharing this post

Join the Excel Liberation Movement

Get weekly automation insights, Excel escape strategies, and early access to our revolutionary tools.

Start Your Journey

Get free automation templates + strategies to transform how you work

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.